…but I think I’m gonna try to make this a regular thing again. The last time I tried to keep this blog it was purely for class purposes. I think I really do need a place to write down my thoughts though. I’ve tried keeping a journal…but the one I have I usually just write songs and drawings in it. Maybe this is less personal, since anyone can read this blog…but I’m going to try to write my honest thoughts here. Anyone who cares can read them; life shouldn’t always be about secrets and introversion, I think.
So. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the end of my first year in college. I say this every year, but it really has flown by. It scares me to think that I only have 3 years of college left (not counting grad school). I’m not sure I’m ready for the “real” world. That sounds super cliche, but it’s true. Lately I’ve been playing the Ben Folds song “Still Fighting It” over and over again. One line in it is, “Everybody knows it hurts to grow up.” haha. True in some ways, completely false in others.
I’m also scared about the fact that I’ll be leaving my friends in fewer than two weeks. Some of them I’ll see over the summer, but others I may not see again until August, and I really don’t like that at all!! What if we grow apart over the summer? I can name a handful of friends right now that I know I’ll keep for life. But the thought that something like distance could change that really stresses me out…a lot. I’m ready to go home in some ways though. I’m ready for a break from studying and a chance for catching up with the people I love back home.
In an effort, not to make this post too sappy…I’m gonna switch to a happier subject: food. In just 1/2 an hour I’m gonna be dining w/ my Cx and my Bx and that is always a happy thing! I’m sure gonna miss those two…definitely some of the best people I’ve ever met and two of the best friends I’ve ever had. They’re are such genuinely good people. Bx and Cx are kind, they’re honest, and they’re real about who they are. I love that about them. I am SO lucky to have them in my life, I can’t even put it into words…I’d put them before myself any day. Hmm I did say this was gonna be about food though, didn’t I? Well, back to that subject, I’m going grocery shopping tonight for Supper Sem, Power Breakfast, AND Grad Mass. Needless to say, that is a LOT of food to buy. I think I’m up to the challenge though. I’m pretty excited about being a Social- cooking one of my only cathartic activities. Another one is church and prayer. By being a Social I can bring these two things together! It’s really great 
I feel like this year alone has given me abundant life opportunities. It’s really helped me to explore who I am and what I believe in. Coming into college, I’ll admit I thought I had a lot of it figured out. And, in a way I did, I guess. I’ve always held my values close to my heart. But, this year has opened me up in different ways. I don’t know if this makes sense, but college has made me calmer. You’d think it would be the opposite, because the workload and classes can be really stressful. But…I’m calmer in a different way. I think it’s just that I’m really happy with where I am in life right now and with the people that are in my life. I feel like before college I was kind of holding my breath, and now I can finally just let it all go…
and I’m sure these next few years it’s gonna keep going and going and going
